Are you trying to get over a breakup that sent you into a downward spiral of overanalyzing, wallowing and stalking? Do your mental and physical health both suffer because of this unexpected, painful event, did you lose your sense of self-worth?! No worries, we’re here to help you get over this breakup faster, guiding you down a healthy, happy path that will allow you to grow and evolve while learning new things about yourself in the process because a breakup can a step forward self-discovery and maturing.
So here is a step-by-step guide to how to recover from a breakup and rebuild your self-esteem in the healthiest way possible:
- Dive headfirst into self-care.
Before anything else, especially a few weeks after breakup, you need to make sure you improve your self-care routine. If you’re tempted to begin drinking, eat unhealthily and missing several nights of sleep, embracing that post-breakup life, we encourage you not to give in to those rom-com clichés. Better use this time to practice self-care and to provide your body and mind the tools they need to fight this stressful situation.
We know that breakups are harsh and we also know how intense you can feel the pain of not being with the one you love but remember that this pain won’t last forever. The intense stress that follows a breakup can elevate your cortisol level and have damaging effects on your health, leading to digestive issues, lack of sleep, anxiety, weight gain and other similar conditions. So it is imperative to take this time off to improve your nutrition and create new habits that can have long-term effects in your healing process. And it is very important that all these new habits have nothing to do with your previous relationship or your ex.
2. Get plenty of sleep.
To counteract the high level of stress, you’ll need to sleep at least eight hours a day. If you already have problems sleeping, cut off alcohol and caffeine or create a pre-bed ritual that can help you rest better. Use essential oils and diffuse light or practice a relaxing bedtime ritual (meditation or yoga) that can help you fall asleep and remain asleep. It is very important to try to stick to your bedtime schedule, regulating this way the internal clock of your body.
3. Eat clean, calming foods.
Remember that sugary treats and comfort food can release cortisol, amplifying the negative feelings you have, increasing your breakup stress. So even if you feel like loading with ice cream and pizza, choose plant-based foods like veggies, fruits, nuts, seeds and fermented foods that have mood-boosting effects. Not only they will take care of your digestive health and microbiome but since they’re packed with antioxidants, probiotics and omega-3s they can regulate your mood as well and reduce anxiety.
4. Get outside and move.
Do an effort to lace up your sneakers and move outside. We promise you that a hike or a jog can help you release those feel-good hormones that remind you how strong your body still is. Exercise and nature immersion can remind your neurotransmitters how to promote the calm feeling, induce resiliency and reduce stress.
5. Connect with people.
Stay in contact with your friends and family and let them help you whenever you feel down while navigating your breakup. Just because you don’t have the significant other, doesn’t mean you are alone. Leaning on people that can support you and doing activities that you love can bring you joy and help you see that shimmering light at the end of your tunnel. And most important, don’t be ashamed to talk to a therapist if you need professional help.
6. Embrace alone time.
Take that alone time to grieve the past relationship, it will help you decrease the intensity of pain you’re feeling. Use alone time to improve your self-care routine, to increase your creativity or simply to curl up with your cat and get lost in a book or movie. Don’t forget that self-imposed isolation has northing to do with alone-time. It’s one thing to enjoy a full spa night for one, to relax with a natural face mask, a bubble bath and essential oils and another to dwell in depression. Solitude, when embraced is healthy, grounding and energizing not depleting.
7. Don’t let social media mess with your progress.
You know what we’re talking about. Leave that smartphone alone and stop checking their profile or better stop comparing your life with your ex’s. Although most people tend to judge their personal growth by comparing themselves to others, this social comparison is a good way to bounce back from a breakup and to ruin your self-esteem. It is unhealthy, it will make you feel bad about yourself and it can lead to more pain. No to mention, that seeing your ex on social media can retrigger rejection and be a self-harm mental health act you’re doing on yourself. Better consider cutting off every connection you have with your ex, until that person won’t be able to affect your wellbeing anymore.
8. Avoid having a rebound.
We hope you know that a quick fix will only make you feel worse, bringing nothing than guild and remorse while messing up with other people’s feeling. A superficial encounter can make you feel sexy temporarily but when you jump head into the first relationship you can just to avoid feeling hurt, your impulsive decision will only make the situation worse. Embrace the pain, learn from it and try being a responsible person, dealing with your problems and solving them before involving someone else.
9. Take time to feel your emotions.
Although there is not an established period of time to get over your breakup since everyone has their own timing, get to know your feelings and listen to your heart, mind and body to tell you when you’re prepared to move on. It can take weeks or maybe one year but you are unique and wishing things will change faster will not be enough. Have patience and make sure you give yourself enough time to reflect on your relationship, understand what went wrong and learn what needs to be changed. Give yourself time for reflection and emotional healing.
10. Start a gratitude journal.
A gratitude journal can help you actively look for the bright side in every situation and can help you shift your mind from the pain to the things that really make you happy. So try to identify what can alleviate your emotional stress and make time for those activities. Practicing self-love and writing down all your positive qualities can help you reaffirm your self-esteem and rebuild your confidence.