Sex-positivity is a feminist movement that encourages women to have as much sex as they want without feeling guilty or ashamed. The purpose of this movement is to destigmatize casual sex and empower women to enjoy unrepressed sexual encounters without being considered sluts or hoes.
All good until here, except the fact that most women don’t enjoy this kind of straight sex on a basic level.
After too many terrible encounters, most women decided to say no to casual sex. Not because they don’t believe in sex positivity or because they want a serious relationship or to procreate but because the sex was not GOOD or because they couldn’t handle those casual arrangements.
Most women ended they causal sex stories because the men they met not only did not invested emotionally in the experience but they were also not doing the bare minimum necessary for women to enjoy sex and feel pleasure. These men were uninvested in getting women off and they were not going down on them, unless they asked for oral sex and sometimes not even then.
Since there are a lot of women who can’t orgasm from penetrative sex, this kind of experience did not make them feel empowered but on a contrary. So most women decided that casual sex in these terms doesn’t worth their time.
Astonishing as it sounds, it seems that there are a lot of men out there that consider oral sex as being a “girlfriend privilege”. So they link casual sex to porn video sex and treat women as if they are objects of their desire they can use in a performative fashion.
Most women we’ve talked to about casual sex decided to give up on this experience because they were expected to behave just like an adult entertainment star while having forceful, aggressive, rough sex, no matter their obvious pain. Their autonomy during sex was not respected and this made the whole experience even worse.
A symptom of a larger cultural problem, women are treated as a one-size-fits all fantasy, with a disregard for their unique body size or sexual taste. We all have different bodies and pleasure points and we cannot be treated as if we’re dolls for men to get off from. There’s no point in having sex if our sexual needs are not taken into consideration.
Women need to get the full spectrum of a sexual experience, to enjoy a man caressing their body, touching their hair, being sensual and committed to their pleasure as well. Their desires matter even if we’re talking about a one-night stand. Nobody wants a selfish partner or one that will ruin your self-esteem after a night of casual sex.
So if the society asks why women keep their legs closed in a period where sex positivity is promoted, the answer is that these women prefer to invest in their orgasm and pleasure too. Of course, there are also plenty of women with a positive attitude towards casual sex and also a lot of men who regret having some of their experiences. The whole idea is to make it a pleasurable activity from which both partners leave happy and satisfied.