Emotional needs are a part of our survival needs just like the need for food, water, air and shelter. We need to meet these needs in order to stay alive but sometimes it takes more to be happy or give our life a meaning. In a relationship you can evaluate the strength of your bond depending on whether these emotional needs are being met or not. Most people feel the need to be heard or valued by their partner and almost everyone wants besides companionship, affection, appreciation and security.
Even if every relationship follows its own rules, most partners need to have these 10 emotional needs met at a certain point.
There are different ways in which we can display affection towards our partner but most relationships include kind gestures, loving words, physical touch and sexual intimacy. When these needs are being met, the bond becomes stronger and the two partners feel closer to each other.
It’s true that people display affection in different ways and maybe you got used to your lover’s unique approach of showing their feelings. But at the end of the day you need to feel that your needs are being fulfilled. If for example, your partner finds it difficult to say “I love you” he might show his feelings through their actions. The problem occurs if their loving behaviour changes suddenly with no reason at all.
Unfortunately, there are many relationships that lack affection and that makes both partners become avoidant or distant. If this happens, you might want to ask the significant other what’s happening and start a serious conversation that can straighten things out. Tell your partner that you’ve noticed a distance between you two and let them know how you feel when you’re disconnected.
It is very important that your partner accepts you with all the qualities and defects you might have. We are not perfect and acceptance is what we need to create that sense of belonging we all need in a relationship. When a partner accepts us, it also makes place for us in their life, introducing us to their friends and family, making plans with us, asking advice when they take a decision and sharing their dreams and goals for the future with us.
Otherwise, we might feel like we’re somewhere at the edge of their life, waiting to become a part of it. Not only that is not a comfortable place to be but it also makes it difficult for us to see a future for that relationship. So, if you feel like you don’t belong in your partner’s life, you can invite them to meet your friends and family or you can use this opportunity to tell him you’d like to be more involved in theirs.
Not all partners operate at the same wavelength and that’s OK. You don’t have to agree with everything your partner thinks, says or does but it is very important to understand their opinion and to make sure they’ve also seen you and valued your perspective.
When this fails, especially if they dismiss your feelings entirely, you will feel misunderstood, ignored or disrespected. All people can have a bad day but if you constantly feel invalidated, you should address the problem before starting to build up resentment. Share how you feel and start a serious conversation in a place where you can both make each other heard without being interrupted.
It’s perfectly normal to share the same interests and activities with your partner but when your identity starts to blur into theirs you need to examine the situation better. So take a step back and try to separate yourself from the other person. You are two different people with different hobbies, goals, friends and values even if you become more united as you grow closer.
Make sure you don’t lose yourself into a relationship and set some time aside to start an old hobby or reconnect with your friends in case the blending of selves starts to happen. You need variety in a relationship and different interests can even make your connection stronger and more fun.
Everyone needs to feel secure in their relationship and this means more things. From the way you respect each other’s boundaries, to the feeling of security you have when you’re with your partner, the way they support your choices or how free you feel to share your feelings with them.
Clear healthy boundaries can boost the security in your relationship so if you can’t set them up or if you feel that your partner becomes unsafe or abusive, get out of the relationship and seek professional support.